1. She's mulling over your earlier conversation about playing with scissors. She feels misunderstood.
2. You didn't shell out the big bucks for one of those fancy organic crib mattresses. And now she's dealing with all those synthetic fibers. Why are you so cheap and selfish?
3. She can't get over it: Why doesn't Big Nutbrown Hare just give up, and allow Little Nutbrown Hare to say he loves Big Nutbrown Hare the most? Why this constant one-upmanship? Is this some sort of love competition? It just feels wrong, that's all.4. It's hot, could you turn the fan on? Oh, now it's too windy--could you angle it a little bit? Wait, you angled it too much. Could it be aimed from my toes to my stomach, but not above? I'm sorry...this really isn't going to work.
5. Well, you didn't really meet her needs all that well today, did you? And now she's waking up in that darkened room and feeling lonely. That's probably because of some way that you messed up. Maybe you could've hugged her a little more, and prevented that. Nice work, You.
6. She knows you're trying to finish that episode of 30 Rock.
7. She refused to eat her dinner...and then you were tyrannical and didn't let her have a brownie. She might be hungry and it's your fault. Maybe you should drag her out of bed and feed her.
8. There is an international sleep strike planned among 2 year olds, and she is the union vice president. It's amazing that you haven't figured that out by now. All those back room planning meetings and such. Sucker.
9. Let's be honest, it's kind of fun to watch you grope around in the dark for her pacifier. She hides it before you get in there.
10. She's messing with your head.