Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Internet is full of options.

Ava turns 8 (!) this week. She wanted to have a pool party this year, so I will spend the whole week praying for good weather on Saturday. Cause if it's raining, I'll have 14 little girls running around my house. Do you remember the last time that happened? Unless you've been reading this blog since the beginning, you might not. (Hi, Mom!)

When Ava turned 6, she wanted a tea party, so I invited all the little girls in her kindergarten class and a few others over. I had it all planned. But then, it was such a hot day. Hot, like hotter than the pit of hell hot. Way too hot to have all these little girls drinking tea in my living room--it was seriously 90F in my house. (I analyze it as if it were a military op here.) So we moved everything into the downstairs office, which was slightly cooler. The girls had fun, but it was so chaotic and frenzied--all of them crammed down there--that I forgot to bring out Ava's birthday cake. Did you catch that? It was a birthday and we forgot the cake. If you've ever wondered what kind of mother would do that, well you've found her. But I mean well, really I do.

For the pool party this year, I had this idea that as a craft, all the girls could decorate a pair of flip flops (thongs to my Aussie readers, jandals to my Kiwi readers, --what does everyone else call them?) I'll just say flip flops, cause it just feels wrong to talk about 2nd graders decorating thongs. I'm sure you understand. I thought this was a cute idea, so I've been on the hunt for super cheap, really basic rubber flip flops. But in my usual fashion, I have waited until the week before. I am that kind of mother, too. Ava and I went to a big market today--the kind of place where vendors set up and sell everything from mangoes to knee socks to fake Louis Vuitton bags. It was fun to walk around, but in all that, we didn't find what we needed. Kmart had them, but I wanted to find them even cheaper.

When we got home, I looked around online for places I could maybe order them wholesale. I found a few leads. But what I wanted to show you was a couple of entries I found on this one website. It's basically a listing of all kinds of different manufacturers in China that you can order direct from. I clicked on the photos I'm about to show you cause initially they looked promising, but--well now I'm not so sure.

This one is just one of those obvious mis-translations into English. But it made me laugh, cause what do you think they were going for?

Oh, those lovers of men and women who drag beach slippers. Such procrastinators! You just can't guess what they'll do next. Especially when they're contracted.

Look, only $1.58 a pair!! Now we're talking. They're plain too, so better to decorate. But, oh--hmmm, apparently it will cost me almost $800,000 to ship them here. Maybe there are, like, trained talking dolphins guided by mermaids that are bringing them over? Maybe, instead of those styrofoam peanut things, they're packed in yellow diamonds? Cause I can't work out why it would be that much. Have you ever? I can't even. Maybe it's a typo? Jason said maybe they're trying to scam someone, but is anyone that stupid?

My heart(and my search) will go on. I do this every year--tell myself I'm gonna keep it simple, and then I keep thinking of one more thing that would be fun, or 2-3 more people to invite. I wish I was one of those people that can just throw an amazing party together with minimal effort--like, oh I just had all this stuff laying around the house! I just opened my craft closet and grabbed a few things! And then I had time to get my nails done to match the napkins! But, I'm not. I love hosting people, but I always end up spending much more time preparing than I think I will. I enjoy it, though! But we've got several other things on this week, and I'm speaking at a women's meeting on Friday night, so I'll be getting ready for that, too. Should be interesting! Remember Nate's astute observations on polygamy? This is one of those weeks that a sister wife might come in handy.


  1. Oh man, those draggers of beach slippers!

    So you don't have a store like Michael's where all that stuff is like a dollar?

    What if they painted t-shirts instead? You could do that thing where you cinch ribbons around each shoulder to make them like tank tops with gathered sleeves? Surely you could find enough packs of white t's. And fabric paint (puffy paint?) would be fun, especially if they could do it outside by the pool. Laura loves doing that stuff. At one party they decorated pillowcases, but it was a slumber party. Hmm..Let's think, ladies.

  2. just catching up.....
    too funny. btw, I can't offer you any suggestions on where to get cheap "thongs":) so sorry. I get all worked up too about Rebekah's party and she's my only!
    and I've got to say that picture of Grace running into Nate's arms is priceless:)

  3. Party time! I know it'll be a smash and everything will be perfect too. I like the t-shirt idea . The fabric paint might be more expensive than you think, though. You could let them have a water gun fight and take home the water guns. Will there be daily bread?

  4. Haha Mom! Autocorrect strikes again--I think you meant fairy bread? And yes, there will be fairy bread in abundance!

    And victory--I found cheapo flip flops! Yay!