Sunday, November 27, 2011

Just Some Facts

Things I Will Do Until The Sun Burns Down to a Tiny, Crispy Nugget:

1. Make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
2. Sweep. Oh my gosh with the sweeping. Sweeping up crap, all the day.
3. Pick up lego pieces.
4. Okay, I lied about number 3. How about: sweep lego pieces out of the way with the side of my foot, so that no one steps on them and teaches Grace new words to say.
5. Look for my glasses.
6. Watch Jane Austen film adaptations on YouTube.
7. Match up renegade socks.

Scientific Facts I Have Learned:

1. If your children are screaming, yet the door is closed between you and them, it's like the screaming isn't happening.
2. The kind of snacks you have in your diaper bag at any given moment will, by virtue of their existence in space and time, be the absolute wrong snacks to have at that time. You should have brought the other ones. And now, everything is so awful and it's your fault. How does that feel?
3. Steve from Blue's Clues is only cute because you've been watching him for 4 episodes straight. No, Jason would not look good in a green striped rugby shirt. Take it out of your online shopping cart.

4. Okay, fine. Steve from Blue's Clues is kind of cute in a nerdy, earnest kind of way. On the purely objective Kids' TV Host Attractiveness Scale (KTVHAS), he skews slightly higher than DJ Lance but doesn't rate as high as Matt from Play School. Oh, hi Matt. Didn't realize you were here.
Science, you guys. It's science, okay?

5. Okay, this is called logic. Are you ready? Thinking about doing something around the house is basically the same thing as doing it. Cause it's, like, rehearsal. Sometimes rehearsals are more laid back and fun, cause people are more relaxed in them. Therefore, ergo, and in summation, thinking about doing something around the house is better than actually doing it.

6. The amount of fun being had between siblings is directly proportional to the amount of tears and tattletaling that is about to happen in the immediate future.

These are definitely things we can know for sure.


  1. Very funny post and lists, Amy! And ICANN personally swear to the truth of all of them. It's kinda like you're some kind of guru of parenting and housecleaning, huh? You've accomplished so much in your young life. Keep the wisdom coming our way. By the way, I love the picture of Ava and Nate.

  2. Okay, these are very important facts and well worth our contemplation.

    I just wanted to chime in here and say that I always found Steve from Blue's Clues fascinating. Matt and I both noticed it way back before we even had kids. It's like there's this darkness inside him, and all his efforts at singing and playing are trying to ease his aching soul. Intense.

    Carry on.

  3. Lol! Yea I think Matt from play school is on there for one reason alone - the mums!

  4. Matt is a biscuit, there's no ways about it.

    Becky, you made me laugh about Steve. Intense! But actually, it's true. I looked him up and he's this indie rock guy now. Shaved head, etc. So complex. ;)

  5. No TWO ways about it, that is. I got flustered! ;)