(That has got to be the best Far Side cartoon ever.)
Several months ago, I got a friend request from a woman I didn't know, but who shared my maiden name. I assumed she was in some way related to me--she looked to be about the same age as my parents and is from the same region. I thought that maybe I'd even met her before at some long since passed family reunion and that it would be rude to ignore her. You might be wondering why I was worried about being rude to someone who I didn't know and have never actually seen or had a conversation with. Hi. I'm Amy. Have we met?
So I accepted the friend request only to find out as my dad later told me, that he doesn't know her and that we are in no way related to her. No big deal, though, right? Ever since, though, I have been getting approximately umpteen thousand invitations from her on Facebook. At least 2 a week. Sometimes several in one day. I pretty much ignore all of those types of things on Facebook anyway. Except when they're for the purpose of organizing an event or rallying behind something, you know, important, it just seems silly to me. (Well, okay. I did join the "Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too". But honestly, who wouldn't?)
So I don't wanna post her real name, as that's not very nice and as Becky pointed out, what if she googles herself? But her first name is kind of different. It's something like "Dippy". So let's just call her that. In the past two weeks, I have received at least 8 different invitations from Dippy. Here's some samples of the group names:
- Almost Kinfolks (uh, wouldn't that be, like, everyone in the world?)
- Signs of Our Times (I really don't want to know what those might be.)
- _______ High School: Alumnus, Faculty, Friends and Supporters (Didn't go there, don't know anyone who did, never been there.)
- When Mama said "Let's Eat!": Mama is Bobbie Lee ______ ______ (Who I also am not related to. Plus, what does this even mean?)
- _______ -_______ School: Best Little Schoolhouse in Alabama, Maybe America (Well, I have to admire her love of education. Or at least her love of obscure schools.)
- I've Lived in a Trailer and I've Lived in a Trailer Park But I am Not Trash (Whoa! I never said you were, Dippy. And I don't really see how this applies to me...?)
There is more. So much more. And tomorrow when I check my email? There will be still more. I don't want to burden you with my pain. This just makes me think of the people in real life who you know, but you don't know how or why you know them. And you don't really want to know them. So you do your best to kind of politely ignore them.
Yes, I could unfriend her. And I maybe eventually will. But for now, it is a kind of comic relief to see what ol' Dippy is up to on the Facebook. What causes is she championing? What stereotype is she railing against? I've started forwarding all the invitation emails to my sister Becky. Just like in real life when you share a "No. she. didn't" glance with a friend. Becky somehow missed the sweeping surname dragnet that Dippy did on Facebook and she isn't friends with Dippy. But I am.
And that is one of many, many reasons that I am special. Very special indeed.