Friday, January 1, 2010

This one is mostly about snot. But Happy New Year!

My mom has been on my case about not blogging this week. I know, Ma! I may have seem to have fallen off the wagon (the blogon?) but I assure you, I have been blogging in my heart. In my heart, in my heart. Lord, I want to beeeee a blogger. In my heart. (Did you sing that song in church?)

Jason, Grace and I are in Dallas for a few days to see our peeps here. Tonight, we are spending New Year's Eve with our good friends Joseph and Melissa. Our party so far has consisted of this: eating massive amounts of chicken wings, lighting sparklers at 10:15pm (waiting till midnight is so predictable), and wiping Grace's nose.

Poor baby has a cold and a very stuffy nose. She woke up crying just a bit ago and was all blocked up. I was lamenting this fact and the probable long night in front of me when Joseph asked if we had one of "those battery powered nose bulbs". And I said, "Whoza Whatza?"

These kids today and their wacky baby gear inventions. I tell ya. I hear tell that there are some fancy machines that allow you to actually hear your baby from another room. I know! It's something to do with radio waves. Amazing. But about the snot. So the old fashioned way is to squeeze the bulb and then let go, and it halfheartedly sucks some snot out. It is frustrating cause you do all that and your baby still has a blocked nose. Plus she kind of hates you now.

So we used this fancy newfangled contraption and my oh my. It sucks, y'all. And I mean that in a good way. It really did the trick. I mean, don't get me wrong. She was royally ticked off. It was heartbreaking to have her cry so much but at least this time she screamed with a clean nose! Even so, I have a feeling I'll be welcoming 2010 with a snotty baby sleeping fitfully on my shoulder.

All this snot talk reminds me of something Becky and I witnessed one time. We'd taken Ava, who was a baby at the time, to the doctor. While we waited to be seen we shared the waiting room with another mother and her little girl. This little girl apparently had a stuffy nose, cause Becky and I watched the mother--I promise you this is the truth--lean over, put her mouth over the girl's nose, and suck the snot out. I nearly died when I saw it, I nearly die when I think about it, and I am nearly dying writing about it right now.

I respect her commitment to her daughter. And I have vaguely heard of others doing similar things. Wow. Ava, Nate and Grace--I'm not sure that Mama loves you that much. I hope you understand. Can I buy you a pony instead?

Perhaps I should change the subject? In other news. Just now, Jason, Joseph, Melissa and I went outside on the back porch to light our sparklers. Yes, we did it an hour and a half early, but hey baby--it's 2010 somewhere! Joseph lit something called a "fountain" that hissed and popped and squealed and spewed sparks. It was a little more celebratory than we were hoping for. And uncomfortably loud. We were laughing and cringing at the noise. Having two sleeping babies inside the house changes your perspective on fireworks! Of course it woke them up. So that was awesome. We deserved that.

So from our snotty family to yours, happy new year! It's gonna be a good one, I think.


  1. The whole time you were talking about her having a snotty nose all I could think was "why don't you just suck it out?". And then I hit that point in your story.

    *I* was that mom. When my daughter was so stuffy that she couldn't breathe, I sucked it out myself. And then proceeded to gag horribly. But it worked. Not that I would ever do it again.

    Hope she's feeling better.

    Happy New Year!!

  2. My goodness, whoever heard of a battery powered nose bulb ! Not me. If you're gonna make her mad anyhow, you might as well have it do the job well. We were all in bed before midnight too. Certain kids have a tendency to get up early around here, ya know. God bless you and Happy New Year !

  3. Battery powered?? Awesome.

    I think I died a little inside when my friend told me she'd tried to suck the snot out of her newborn. Um, dude. Walmart is FIVE MINUTES AWAY. Just go get a bulb, PLEASE.

  4. OMG, as new parents with a snotty baby, we are DYING laughing over here. Great post! Happy New Year, Amy!

  5. Mad Woman--wow! You are a braver and less squeamish woman than I. This can be one of the things you tell her one day, like, "This is what I endured for you!"

    Keely--yes, battery powered! I was amazed but then I thought maybe everyone knew about this but me.

    Veronica--congrats to you! I saw the baby pics, he is a real cutie!

  6. BLEH. :gagging:

    David will probably now need to wait another six months before we try for babies, after receiving prayer and therapy.

    Did you HAVE to put the easy-to-visualize snot/mom story in? Really?


  7. Is that a gauntlet I see lying on the ground?

  8. And I thought I was gross for nibbling their little baby fingernails off.
    I don't think I was ever hardcore enough to suck snot, but I can remember the panic i felt as a new mom with a new baby all stuffed up. So maybe if I'd thought of it, I might have tried it. Blech! I just locked us in the bathroom with the shower steaming away. Not sure if that helped.

    Too bad babies can't use the neti pot. Those things work wonders!

    Get well soon, Grace! Happy New Year!

  9. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. That woman. Oh gosh.

    I'm glad I know about this electric nose sucker "before" I have a baby with a stuffy nose.

    It was so good to see you guys :). xo

  10. Where was this 'lectric nose sucker when I needed it?

    And Sara, I bit their newborn fingernails rather than use the scary clippers too!

    Teens who are considering having sex should read this post.