Tuesday, June 28, 2011

But really, we are okay.

Listen, here's the thing. You should never allow yourself to think, "Wow--we're all pretty healthy right now, no one's been sick in awhile!" Because then YOU ARE DOOMED. Everyone will start throwing up everywhere or get fevers and your house will fall down around your ears. All because you got cocky. Nice work, You.

Okay, not really. I'm not a superstitious person. But that's what this past week has felt like. I was thinking how nice it was that we'd all been healthy this winter. Then Grace got sick, then she got better, then she got sick. Then I got sick and Grace was still sick. Then Grace started to feel better and Ava got sick. Then I still felt bad and Ava was like, meh, and then Nate got sick. (This was all in about 72 hours' time.) And now, the kids are pretty much okay, I am feeling better but still sort of lousy, and Grace might have conjunctivitis.

God, save me from conjunctivitis! No, really. Please?

I have become a wraith-like figure that roams from room to room of the house, obsessively disinfecting doorknobs and remote controls. Sometimes, on moonlit nights, you can hear me rummaging for cough medicine and spraying disinfectant on the refrigerator door handle. And the control pad of the microwave! For goodness' sake, don't forget to disinfect the microwave or you will all surely die.

In fact, let's all just stop touching things that other people will eventually touch. Can we agree to do that? All you're doing is spreading contagion and you should stop.

I am losing it just a little. Trying to give eye drops to a vengeful 2 year old will do that to a person.


  1. Oh, bless your hearts-all of them! I thought Gracie's bug might get you all. That's no fun! I can imagine the struggle of putting in eyedrops! I hope you are all feeling better soon. You wonder where she caught it, since she's not in daycare? No way to know. Love you.

  2. OMG, eyedrops, REALLY? If I'd had to give eyedrops to a toddler...I just don't know.

    I like your "just don't touch anything" rule. Let us know if that helps.

  3. I love when you get the "notice" from preschool that someone in your kid's class has pink eye/head lice/fifth disease and, you know, just heads up, it's entirely possible that your kid has already contracted it.

  4. DO NOT turn into my mother-in-law Mommy, who carries a can of Lysol with her everywhere!When Jimmy was a teenager, she used to chase him around with the Lysol when he got home from dates, because who knew what he'd been touching.