Today I went to work out at Curves (the workout for girls who don't like to workout) and I got surreptitiously stared at. It's been happening more and more over the last month. I pretend not to notice, but I can tell that people are trying to work out whether I'm pregnant or not, and whether it's SAFE to ask, "When are you due?" Sometimes I just wanna ease their pain, look right and them, and say, "Yes! I am."
Now, I'm not so full of myself to think that most people really even care! I ain't Angelina Jolie over here. But you can just tell when people are trying to work it out--the kind of people that like to chat to strangers, or people that I don't really know, but see regularly.
I mean, I am pretty obviously preggo right now. About 6 months-ish, so most people are coming out of their shells and asking, but it's kinda fun to watch them deliberate. They stare at my abdomen, I pretend to think about something else, they ask, we engage in polite banter. I don't mind--I like meeting and talking to people.
BUT there are times that I wish I had it in me to be like, "Excuse me? What are you talking about? I'm not pregnant!" And then storm off in a tearful huff. I mean, isn't that your worst nightmare when you approach a woman-who-might-be-pregnant? It would be kind of fun to mess with people. But I'm like my mom--I can't stand for people to be embarrassed. I even turn off radio call-in shows when people call and sound stupid and I CANNOT watch those candid camera type shows. So I just can't make myself pretend to be outraged--as devilishly fun as it might be.
I'm wondering if you've ever accidentally congratulated a non-pregnant woman. Or been on the other side of that big slice of awkward. My friend Miriam was once asked when her baby was due, while her husband was standing right next to her, holding their tiny newborn. HELLO? Let's look for external clues, people!
As for me, I have a personal policy of NEVER ASSUME. Unless I see someone in the act of getting an epidural, I will not ask--I will wait until it is brought up. You just never, never know.