Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I Dunno...It Could be a Small Melon

Today I went to work out at Curves (the workout for girls who don't like to workout) and I got surreptitiously stared at. It's been happening more and more over the last month. I pretend not to notice, but I can tell that people are trying to work out whether I'm pregnant or not, and whether it's SAFE to ask, "When are you due?" Sometimes I just wanna ease their pain, look right and them, and say, "Yes! I am."

Now, I'm not so full of myself to think that most people really even care! I ain't Angelina Jolie over here. But you can just tell when people are trying to work it out--the kind of people that like to chat to strangers, or people that I don't really know, but see regularly.

I mean, I am pretty obviously preggo right now. About 6 months-ish, so most people are coming out of their shells and asking, but it's kinda fun to watch them deliberate. They stare at my abdomen, I pretend to think about something else, they ask, we engage in polite banter. I don't mind--I like meeting and talking to people.

BUT there are times that I wish I had it in me to be like, "Excuse me? What are you talking about? I'm not pregnant!" And then storm off in a tearful huff. I mean, isn't that your worst nightmare when you approach a woman-who-might-be-pregnant? It would be kind of fun to mess with people. But I'm like my mom--I can't stand for people to be embarrassed. I even turn off radio call-in shows when people call and sound stupid and I CANNOT watch those candid camera type shows. So I just can't make myself pretend to be outraged--as devilishly fun as it might be.

I'm wondering if you've ever accidentally congratulated a non-pregnant woman. Or been on the other side of that big slice of awkward. My friend Miriam was once asked when her baby was due, while her husband was standing right next to her, holding their tiny newborn. HELLO? Let's look for external clues, people!

As for me, I have a personal policy of NEVER ASSUME. Unless I see someone in the act of getting an epidural, I will not ask--I will wait until it is brought up. You just never, never know.


  1. Well said, Amy. I'm not nearly as huge at 6 months as I was with Luke. I said to one person that I wasn't pregnant. Stunned them! That's what you get though. And I agree, unless you witness the baby crowning or I'm wearing a shirt that says "there's a baby in there", don't say anything.

  2. I am with you on never bringing it up unless I hear it confirmed from someone else! I have been on the end where someone thought I was pregnant. A dry cleaning clerk asked me. She was insane because when I had my first baby almost 13 years ago I only gained 23 pounds and went back to my same size 6 clothes right away. I was wearing some sort of babydoll sundress so that must have been it. I said, huh? I did have a baby 3 months ago.... I mean, this lady had never even seen me before. Must have had me confused with someone else! Anyway, I wonder if moms to be have ever worn t-shirts that say, "Yes, I'm pregnant".

  3. I never, ever, say anything until they do. Or someone else does.

    I never played that joke on anyone either, but a co-worker did on my behalf. I was huge when I was pregnant - friggin huge - and someone asked the co-worker, "so when is Keely due?". "Huh?" they replied, with an innocent look. And proceeded to let the poor guy dangle for like, 5 minutes.

    Honestly, when I heard the story I felt awful FOR him.

  4. Yes, I agree that unless the baby's head is coming out, do not assume there is a baby.

    But once when Hank was like 4 months old, a elderly man who worked at the bookstore asked me when I was due. I just said, "Won't be long!" Then I felt like a total idiot.

  5. Well, you know as I've told you that I have been asked on more than one occassion and even by my Rebekah! It doesn't worry me too much, I try not to let things like that upset me too much:)
    On the other hand when Rebekah was still a very young tot *I* did ask a lady when she was due - she had quite a big tummy that really stood out like a "melon" and we were talking about babies and Rebekah at the time so it kind of just slipped out before I realised - how embarassed was I after that! You've never seen me walk so fast as after that conversation:)

  6. I've done both.

    A friend of mine had been trying for a baby for years. We met up for lunch one day and she said she had something to tell me. The way she was standing made her look a bit pregnant so I got all over excited and went "yes, I know, I can see the bump!". Oh, the shame. Shameful amounts of shame.

    I had my second child 16 months ago and have eaten many pies and done no exercise since. I've been told several times lately that I'm brave to be having my third child so soon. Hmm, time to exercise I think! The worst thing is that I feel really bad when I have to say that I'm not pregnant and people get embarrassed. I almost want to say that I am just to make the situation easier!

    I'm now with you - don't say anything!