Friday, May 28, 2010

Out of the mouths of little dudes

Hands down, the highlight of this holiday for Nate has been the discovery of how to burp on command. We're not sure how, but all of a sudden, he sure can let 'em rip. In all sorts of locations, in all sorts of company. Charming, truly. Immediately after, he grins cheekily and says, “ 'Scuse meeee.”

Our kids think that saying “excuse me” or “sorry” is like a get-out-of-jail-free card. It doesn't matter what action preceded those magic words, if you purposely pinched your sister or belched like a longshoreman,“excuse me” gives you instant immunity from all consequences. In their minds, anyway. “Ava,” I'll say, “Why did you just shove Nate to the ground?” She'll look at me like I'm speaking Mandarin, “I said I was sorry.”

So yeah, we're working on that. But the burping. Oh my, the burping. These are not little ones that just slip out. They are great, joyous, cavernous belches. They are repeated. I can tell that Jason is at war with himself when it happens. Part of him feels the need to rise to the occasion as a parent and manage the situation and the other half (the half that usually wins out) is all, “Wow, Nate—nice one!” Like one dude admiring another dude's riding lawnmower or something.

Two nights ago at dinner, Nate opened his mouth and let fly a terrific belch. I think he is some kind of prodigy or something. We're very proud. Jason told him that burping at the dinner table is rude. “I said 'scuse me',” Nate said. “That's good”, Jason said. “But it's better to not do it at all, especially when you're sitting and eating with other people.”

“Dad,” Nate said, “When a burp come, it come.” The whole table erupted in laughter and Nate, clearly delighted with himself, carried the day. It's hard to argue with that logic.

These wacky kids. I tell ya.


  1. Awwww, I can just see Nate and Jase having a late night belching contest. Party's on out the back tonight so best stay where you are!

  2. Funny post!! Just be glad that he hasn't learned how to belch out the alphabet or the Star Spangled Banner yet. I fear that day will come.

  3. Oh, Nate! Perfect comeback. No one could argue with that.

    He is hilarious. :D

  4. Maggie, the sad truth is that Nate is far more likely, now, to belch out, "Advance Australia Fair". And if he belched the alphabet, he'd pronounce "Z" /zed/ rather than /zee/ like God intended.

    Amy, the first immutable law of parenting little boys is, "What gets a laugh gets repeated."

  5. It would be VERY hard not to laugh every time!

    You could try the "first time's funny, second time's silly, third time's a spanking" chestnut.

  6. The kid's some kind of belch savant!

    A while back, I foolishly shared with Jude the fact that I am able to burp on command, an amusing party game my best friends Sharon, Kaysie and I perfected over several summers of hard practice. It involves the swallowing of air - rather difficult and highly scientific. Jude is very proud of this fact, and makes me show his friends. Finally, a talent my kid is proud of!

  7. I can't burp but my boys can. However, they are impressed that I can tie a knot in a cherry stem while in my mouth.

  8. It's true, I'm told by a reliable source (Boy Spawn), that when they come, they come. It's a boy thing. Girl Spawn is more interested in farting on command. She's 8.

  9. Oh my gosh... that sounds like it belongs in a fortune cookie. You have an adorable little belching Confucius on your hands.

  10. Lily tells me she can belch with the best of the boy belchers at school. And she came home from a friend's house and immediately showed me the new armpit farting skills she learned.
    My response? Showing her that you can also get a respectable fart noise by blowing into the crook of your elbow.
    Ya. I'm no help here.