Or perhaps I'll just take this knife here, and swirl the jam and cream together. Then, I'd like to smear it everywhere--not only on the scone, but all over me, too.
(If that chick behind me thinks I'm sharing this scone, she'll be waiting a long time. Sharing is for wimps.)
Finally, I'd like to close our time together by refusing to eat the scone, and screaming when you take the knife away. Is that acceptable?
I'm so glad we've had this little talk.