Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And to top it off, now I'm a quitter.

For the last 3 years or so, I've been a member at one of those gyms for girls who don't like gyms. You know, the ones that have a pre-set circuit that you do each time you go in. They play oldies and Cher songs that have been turned into techno beats. I'm telling you, you haven't lived till you've heard Cher's cover of "Walking in Memphis" with some kickin' bass behind it! This is a very well-known fitness franchise, wink wink.(I'm not sure if it's kosher to tell you that I'm talking about Curves, so I won't mention it.)

But for the last year or so, I haven't been going faithfully. And here are my excuses, in no particular order:
1. Life has gotten much busier.
2. Their hours are weird. Like, they're closed everyday from 11:30am-2:30pm, which would be the optimal time for me to go: the kids are napping and Jason can work uninterrupted while I'm gone. And they close for the day at 7pm, so I can't go after the kids are asleep.
3. They have no childcare.
4. I am kind of lazy.

And in the last 4 months, since Grace was born? Not happening, dude. And so, my workouts diminisheth and my muffin top increaseth. Yea, verily.

Note: Artistic representation of said top.

I've enjoyed working out there. It's simple and unintimidating. And frankly, as one of the younger women, I'd be-bop around there feeling all fit and cute and stuff. (This factor is not to be discounted in one's exercise regimen.) But, I haven't been going. And in La Casa Down Under, we have been trying to cut costs. We gave up our membership at the Yacht Club*, I now make our own soap and candles**, and Jason gave up his gym membership too. So it was time for me to do the same.

I have been putting it off for a couple months now. Because I didn't want to have to call them and get grilled about why I'm quitting. The manager is a nice but very firm woman, kind of stern, and I didn't want to face her. I know!! I don't owe these people any explanation, you say. And you say rightly. But, you can ask my mama, it is embedded in my personality to: feel obligated to apologize for things I have no control over and to avoid disappointing people at all costs. Thanks, middle-child syndrome! You're awesome. I am every telemarketer's dream! Before I married Jason and he taught me to toughen up a bit, if a waiter brought me the wrong order in a restaurant, I would eat it anyway. I KNOW. I AM JUST TELLING YOU. I am really much better now.

Am I still talking? Oh, yes. So, today I called when they were closed for the midday break (classic conflict avoidance technique--I have many)and broke the news on the voicemail. So that way, when they called back, I could just get on with business.

And you know what? They called back. And it was no big deal. They didn't even try to get me to reconsider. She was all, "That's totally fine. You just need to come in and sign the cancellation form."

Jason knows how and why I've been putting this off. So when I told him that I'd actually called and was taking the kids and going over there to do it, he chuckled. "That's good babe," he said, smirking at me. "Safety in numbers. You can hide behind the children." Smartass.***

So I went in, and tried to look all flustered-mom-with-no-time-to-work-out, which wasn't hard, and I signed and I'm out. Whew! It's not that I didn't like this very well-known fitness franchise that may or may not be Curves. But I haven't been going, and it's been hanging over my head as we throw this money away every month. Lord! The buildup to that was almost as emotionally intense as changing hairdressers. And there are entire episodes of Oprah about that!

That has been my day. Along with some other stuff. And tell me: are you freakish in this way like me?

*I made that up.
**Not really.
***To any of my church members who are particularly sensitive: sorry. But there really isn't another word I could've used. And you KNOW how Jase can be sometimes.


  1. Well, in that I have the "eldest child syndrome", I'd be the one calling Curves for you and telling the waitress that you don't like your meal and you'd like to try something else. Your kind love to have me around ;). Was Jason the eldest in his family?

  2. Aim,

    Really can't read your posts in public. I laugh out loud too much and people look at me all weird.

    I'm glad you ditched curves. They obviously aren't interested in you as a client...per their business hours/hospitality. Kind of like how I know I really shouldn't be watching the network nightly news because all the commercials are for denture cream and viagra.

  3. *knew that one!
    **knew that one too!!
    *** not really, though Jason is a lot tougher than you I wouldn't call him that:)

    btw, those hours are weird for Curves!!!
    Also, I am a third child out of four and suffered a similar syndrome until my late twenties, but it still sneaks in from time to time:)

  4. Hilarious. I felt the SAME way when I ditched Curves. And I ditched them for all the reasons you said: weird hours, no childcare, and it was boring. Funny, I wouldn't bat an eye at quitting Lifetime. I think they rope you into thinking you're having a personal relationship with them.

  5. Becky's comment above says she posted on 10/16...which is tomorrow so I got all weirded out for a minute till I realized that is your still weirded out.
    Anyway I can totally relate to quitting the gym. If my husband only knew it took me about 9 months to do it from when I said I would.

  6. Crystal--that's one more reason why y'all should come to Sydney! And no, Jason is the youngest of 2. He's just pushy. ;)

    Amy--thanks for the props! And you're so right! I am not exactly their typical client, and I'm sure they know that which is why they didn't really push to keep me.

    joyfulmum--when I told Jason I called him a smartass in my blog, he said, "That's ok. I kind of am one." Hee hee

    Beck--I've been meaning to ask what happened when you quit. I think you're right about the whole relationship thing!

    Michele Renee--yes, we are a day ahead of you! Which means I know stuff about the future, so feel free to ask. And you waiting 9 months makes me feel better--I guess we all do it, eh?

  7. And here I am considering starting a gym membership. But I think I already know that one of those girl gyms is not for me.

    Here's my brand of freakishness. Since a sales pitch or telemarketing pitch is sooo painfully obvious and scripted to me (especially when poorly done, which is usually how I do it) and I know how often they probably get turned down, depending on my mood, and maybe, if they're young and obviously new to it, I almost feel like I'm coaching them in their technique by playing the part of prospect. Sure I have no intention of buying or whatever, but I figure "hey, how many considerate people are they going to encounter today?" Conversely, if they are a chauvinistic creep, they will get the back of my hand! hee-kidding.

    I also hate troubling a server at a restaurant and feel like I have to renew their faith in humanity by being extra nice. Sounds pretty crazy now that I've put it into words. Cool!
    Plus I don't want them to do something gross to my food. But that's another subject.
    And I'm the oldest! What gives?

  8. I don't have a single witty thing to say cos I'm way tired this morning, but I wanted you to know that this post made me laugh. Even though I'm way tired this morning. Thanks for the giggles!!

  9. Thanks, fraught! I am feeling your pain on the tired thing, too. A couple rough nights here!

    Sara, you are making me laugh with your training program for telemarketers. :)And I have told Jason before to be careful or the waiter was gonna spit in his food!