Saturday, August 1, 2009

I am, like, the best mom ever.

It is early Saturday morning. I am sitting, bleary eyed, with the kids in the living room. Jason's out for a good chunk of the day. It's a peaceful day so far, and these kids are entertaining, to say the least. I am having one of those surreal, look-at-me-I'm-not-grownup-enough-for-three-kids kind of moments. Or, more like I never imagined having these conversations at 7:30 on a Saturday morning kind of moments.

Here are some for real conversational snippets from the last ten minutes.

"Mom, why don't I have blue hair like Poko? Can I have blue hair? Why isn't my hair blue? Why?"--Nate

Nate: Mom when could I ever get a dinosaur?

Nate: What do turtles eat? What do spiders eat? What eats spiders? What do butterflies eat? What do whales eat?
Helpful hint: The default answer to all "What do ________ eat?" questions is "Bugs!" It's a crowd-pleaser every time.

Ava: (watching some cartoon with a bear) That's me!! I'm the bear!
Nate: No, I'M the bear!
Ava: No, me! I'm all the people!
Nate: (white hot with rage)I'M ALL THE PEOPLE!! ME!!!
Me: (in my most sensitive tone)I will so turn this TV off if y'all keep this up.

Ava: That was a great show. I love it.
Nate: Yeah, me too.
Ava: I don't like it.
Nate: Yeah, I hate that show. (This is a new favorite word, which is applied often and liberally. We are working on that one!)

Me: Nate, put your pants back on. It's too cold in here to run around naked. (This is repeated a few times over the next several minutes.)

Ava: (in a I am the most neglected girl in the world tone)Mom, I want a puppy. Can I get a puppy now?

Me: Hmmm. Let's see. Close your eyes...go on, close your eyes. Now, tap your feet together twice. Ok, now clap your hands. Alright, open your eyes! Did it work? Is there a puppy? Is there? Oh man, it didn't work! Why can't I ever get that right?

This is my response of choice for many outlandish requests. Gets 'em every time. Ava just rolls her eyes. The things she must endure.

That's me. Dashing the most cherished dreams of childhood since late 2003.

(For all my snarking, these are some of the coolest small people around.)


  1. You've got some nice Mom Moves. I especially like the-- close your eyes, tap your feet and clap your hands.
    Hope you don't mind if I borrow that one.

    I love your conversation snippets!

    I caught our girls singing up in their room a little bit ago. That's one of my favorites! (Sometimes I call my mom and just hold the phone at the bottom of the stairs)

    We got a new set of stairs coming off our porch over the weekend while Lily was at my mom's. When she returned home and climbed the stairs for the first time she exclaimed "I feel so alive!!"

  2. Love it ! Those are some smart kids with lots to say and share. But be warned, one day they will have a lot of your comeback lines to include in a book that THEY will write.I chuckle at your experiences with your kids and how they seem somehow familiar.Kids are fun, aren't they?

  3. I vote for Ava getting a puppy!!

  4. Our parenting styles are basically identical. Hmm.

    Thanks for the "bugs" tip. I think I find myself saying that a lot already!

    And get the boy a dinosaur for Pete's sake.

  5. Man, those are some good conversations with some adorable chilluns! I love reading the cute things kids say.

    I rarely threaten to turn off the TV because frankly I would be lost without it. You are a brave, brave woman.

  6. I love conversations with children, but only when I'm really feeling mentally on the ball!

  7. I am SO using the 'close your eyes, tap your feet' thing. Today. I'm starting today.