Reasons we rarely eat out

1. When restaurants advertise a "homey" environment, that doesn't *actually* mean you can take your pants off and lay under the table.

2. The food Nate likes is scorned by Ava. The type of restaurant Ava likes has the chicken Nate won't eat. And no place serves peanut butter and jelly, which is what Grace most often wants for dinner.

3. When Grace gets Crazy Eyes, we have to hide the cutlery. (see photo)

4. It's not actually appropriate to lick the salt shaker. (Nate)

5. Or to eat food off the floor. (Um, Nate.)

6. When coloring sheets, one iPad and two iPhones won't entertain one 2 year old for a 40 minute meal, you really need to ask yourself: where have we gone wrong?

7. The candy that we're coerced to buy at the shop next door while taking the aforementioned 2 year old for a walk before the food arrives will spoil her dinner anyway.

8. Listening to Jason bemoan the lack of free refills in our adopted country gets old after awhile. (Though he does have a point!)

9. The kids Hawaiian pizza either has too much pineapple or not enough cheese. This is a scientific fact.

10. "No, they don't have a playland.... I don't know why....Because we're just supposed to sit here together and enjoy ourselves..... By talking to each other and being together as a family. Isn't that nice?..... No, I don't know why there isn't a Playland..... Hey--go see what's in that potted plant over there."