Saturday, August 13, 2011

Impulse of the Moment

I never promised that I'd be mature all the time, you see.

Jason was up and out early this morning, and as I was awake way too late last night, first watching An Affair To Remember (sigh) and then reading, it was with a fuzzy head that I got up with the kids this morning. No one tells Grace that it's the weekend, so she persists in waking at 6:30 whether it's a school day or not.

Then, I couldn't keep the fire going (I know, tragic) so I'm huddled here in my bathrobe, chilly and totally unmotivated to do much of anything. It's okay, that happens sometimes. A few minutes ago, scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen any updates from one of my FB friends in a long time.

She and I went to high school together, and were really good friends. We were in the same classes, we both wrote for the school paper, we both pretended to not want to go to prom. (ButI think she went? Can't remember. I didn't go--CAN YOU BELIEVE?? What is it with boysssss?) Anyway. After we graduated, I went away to school and she stayed local. We lost touch, as you do. But I always kinda got the vibe that she was annoyed that I didn't do a better job keeping up. This was when The Email was just getting started, you see, so it was a bit harder in days of yore. But what can one do. It was, like, a new chapter? I was off in college? Finding myself, meeting Jason, eating too much at late night establishments and philosophizing. As you do.

I friended her on FB a couple years ago, just to catch up. I realized this morning that I hadn't seen her updates lately, so I checked and Y'ALL WE AREN'T FB FRIENDS ANYMORE. Girl unfriended me, straight up.

Truth? I don't mind too much. Cause she plays that Farmville game CONSTANTLY, and her buying chicken feed or wheelbarrows and asking for plywood or whatever all the dang time was clogging up my newsfeed. (No offense if you play that game, but the rest of us find the constant updates super annoying. We've talked.)
I usually don't notice when I "lose" a FB friend, I don't really keep track of my number, so the only way I notice is if I think of them and then realize they're not on my list anymore.

Here is the mature response in that situation: do nothing. Right? Like, duh, I know that. Here is what I just did: requested her as a friend again. Why? I have no idea. I'm cold and sleepy? I've made breakfast for Grace 3 times already this morning and needed a diversion? Idle hands are the devil's something or other?

It's part of my personality to go to extreme lengths to not make others feel awkward. I don't want to put you in a position of feeling uncomfortable or embarassed. But as I sat here, looking at her profile and the little "Add as Friend" button, a chuckle escaped me. What'll she do, I wondered, when she knows that I know? And that I know she knows I know? You know?

Reader, I clicked it. The button, I mean. Mwahahahahaha! Daring, you say? Cheeky? Oh yes. It is on. On in the way that Donkey Kong is also on.

This is why FB gets folks in trouble. Seriously as someone who works with folks, I can't tell you how many times Facebook plays a very real role in people having "issues" with each other. (I mean, I can't tell you because I can't tell you, not cause it's happened more times than I can count. But still, it happens a lot.) The social distance afforded by interacting online facilitates us doing and saying things we wouldn't in person. And now, I'm forcing myself upon my used to be high school friend! Just to give her a hard time for unfriending me!! How petty is that!! I feel so dangerous right now! Who knows what happens next? I might post a controversial political opinion! I could tell someone I don't like their new haircut!

This stuff just got real, y'all.

But probably, I'll do none of this stuff. Cause I hate conflict and also, I mostly use FB to see everyone's pictures of kids and fancy meals they eat.

The world will keep turning. But if you ask me to help you buy a new axle for your hay wagon or whatever, someone's gonna get hurt.


  1. The girl I was BFFs with in middle school unfriended me. I was only annoyed because I had been planning to unfriend her! I mean, she listed Sarah Palin as someone she admired. And I think she was serious about it!!!

  2. What is with the unfriending? I've never unfriended anyone. I mean, just block them, you know?

    Amy, you are officially bad ass & I'm scared of you.

  3. Amy, WHAT HAS GOT INTO YOU?? I don't know but I love it. Did she friend you back yet???

    You should keep trying and trying until she's afraid you're going to Single White Female her.

    And first my old bf, now this. Why are you so unpopular all the sudden? I'm really concerned.

  4. It's always weird to play passive aggressive on FB. I have been "defriended" a number of times, I believe, particularly over my wild, liberal politics (I grew up in Atlanta but now live in LA).

    This post made me giggle -- and I'm happy to have found you through your matronly sis.

  5. Oh, you're so dangerous. FB just brings out that twitchy side of you!

    when she knows that I know? And that I know she knows I know? You know?

    Hahaha, it's a tangled web. :D

  6. I get sick of the updates on the games people play on FB too, I don't want to know your horoscope every day either, I just block that feed...easy

  7. I wouldn't even know if someone 'unfriended' or is that 'defriended' me on FB! :)

  8. I love reading about this side of you. You are so like me. But then we always knew that , didn't we? I'm curious about who this person is who had the temerity to unfired YOU! The gall!

  9. You are a hoot! Love this post!

  10. I always prefer the term defriend, which I will use for the purposes of this post. ;)

    A) you are hilarious. ly awesome.

    B) I don't ever defriend. I don't understand it. I may not befriend in the first place, but I will most certainly not defriend. I will hide people. Absolutely.

    C) As a matter of practice, I don't engage in theological cage fights, especially on social media sites. On principal I avoid things I know will hack me off. But a few months ago a professor made this supremely ridiculous and inappropriate comment on FB, and I couldn't help but enter the ring (or the cage, whatever...and for the record, I was not alone...she had like 115 comments). Well, I realized a few weeks later that she'd defriended me after said incident. And I thought "seriously?! Are we in junior high?!" I also thought "this is why I don't fight on social media."

    And then I felt kind of proud. Even if it is a deadly sin.

  11. Meghan--yes! I am with you on that...back away slowly. That stuff can be crazy-making, man. And yes, I think we must be in junior high!

    Hi Elizabeth! Thanks for making the trip over. :)

    Jo--yes with the horoscopes!! I have a few friends that do that, too.

    You guys are funny with your unfriending and defriending, I'm not sure what the terminology should be! Jenni, I think it's for the best in your two were CLEARLY not meant to be. ;)

    As of now, she has still not accepted my request. Pins and needles over here...

  12. My daughter called me once to ask me why I had unfriended her...I hadn't I think FB does it on it's own. Happened with my neice too at least she told me she hadn't unfriended I'm not sure!