Thursday, July 5, 2012

I need all the help I can get

Me, towards the end of radiation treatment, hospital gown in hand. As you can see, I wasn't kidding about the Uggs-puffy vest-no bra-last night's ponytail combo. Stellar. Sorry, boys! She's taken!
On Monday, I went to see my GP. In order to meet with the oncologist to start Tamoxifen, I needed an official referral letter from the GP, so I made an appointment. (It's a Medicare billing thing, but anyway.)

I hadn't actually been back to see her since a visit right after my diagnosis, back in February. Over the last several months, we've been fortunate enough to be pretty healthy as a family, and the one time Nate was sick, Jason took him to the doctor.

In telling the story of how I found out I had breast cancer, I often tell people how, after that initial ultrasound, the radiologist who read the scan recommended that I return for a second scan in 6 months' time. That there were a few cysts, but nothing to be really concerned about. I would've followed that recommendation without worry; after all, I was only trying to be responsible in getting that ultrasound anyway.

But when I saw my GP the day after the scan, she read the report and then kind of stared into space for a second. "You know," she said, "I think you should consider getting an appointment at the breast clinic in the city, just to check it out and make sure everything is fine." And so I did, the next day. And you know the rest.

This past Monday, she and I chatted about my radiation treatment, while she printed off the letter I needed. I told her that I'd been wanting to thank her for that initial recommendation. It set off the chain of events that lead me to find that I had breast cancer in an early stage, instead of finding it much later and perhaps with a more grave prognosis. "I've often remarked to others," I told her, "how grateful I am that you referred me to the breast clinic, when you could've easily just told me to wait 6 months. So, thank you." (And as an aside, the remarkable thing to me is that nothing in that initial ultrasound turned out to be cancer...it was a lump that wasn't even picked up in the original scan!)

She kind of shook her head and told me she couldn't believe it when she'd gotten the call from the breast clinic. "The thing is," she said, "I could've just as easily told you to get another scan in 6 months-I've certainly done that before. I don't know what made me recommend that you get it checked out."

Now, me being me...of course it's my belief that God graciously intervened in that whole scenario. I don't understand it, but I'm thankful all the same. But even besides that, I've been thinking since then about that little nagging voice, that sense of intuition, that gut instinct that people have when it comes to their particular field. My oncologist used this kind of language today when I asked him a question about an aspect of my treatment. He responded that there was wasn't a big body of research for this particular thing I was asking, then he said, "But my gut instinct is...". It's what Malcolm Gladwell talks about in that book Blink. (Which, incidentally, I've never read. Do you ever do that? Summarize books or movies you've never actually read or seen?)

But from what I understand, Gladwell talks about this idea of informed intuition. He calls it "thin-slicing", the ability to assess a situation from a very brief window of exposure to it. Where a person can have a hunch, a snap judgment, a feeling about something that feels spontaneous, but is actually fed by years of their own experience and study. So that, even though they can't necessarily articulate why they have the opinion they hold, they just do. That all those years of study and experience combine in a subconscious moment--a blink, I guess. Me being me again...I think there can definitely be a divine element at work here, too. Not some kind of magical voice necessarily, but a nudge when you need it. Gladwell's point is that we should all tune into this intuition...that we all have it in some way. At least, I think that's his point. I haven't read the book yet, you see.

I've found over the course of the last several months that I'm relying quite a bit on the intuition of these folks. Of course, there's more than that to back them up. Years of research, my own pathology reports, data from thousands of other cases, an established standard of care--it's not like we're operating on spit and fairy dust or something. But, I feel better knowing that they are applying their own "hunches" in taking care of me. In fact, I was talking with my radiation oncologist a few weeks ago about scheduling followup appointments with her. Along with my GP, there are 3 other doctors that are kind of managing different aspects of my treatment. She said something like, "I know it's a hassle to have all these appointments, but we'll space them out, and they'll lessen as time goes on." And I said, "No, I actually like it. The more smart, experienced people looking at me and my case, the better." Team Amy is always looking for more star players. Clearly, it takes a village of experts to keep me operating at full capacity. So we all need to keep our heads in the game. Got that?

I think I'm gonna read that book.


20 comments:

  1. Thanks, Amy, for posting this entry about your wonderful, intuitive doctors. I am fascinated by the doctor's instinct that you should go to the breast clinic. How fortunate that she spoke those words when she did. She could have just as easily suggested you come back in six months. That's a miracle! I think I need to read that book also. I am so glad you are feeling well now and can look back on all that has happened and write so eloquently about your experiences. I believe it is helpful for people going through similar illnesses. You are blessed. And we are as well. Blessed.

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  2. So glad you have such great doctors! And, I love that you had a conversation with that GP about the initial moments of diagnosis.

    We had a grad school professor who famously announced, upon being asked if he had read a certain book, "Read it?? I haven't even taught it yet!"

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  3. Well, keep that GP! A person who has good hunches AND trusts them - that's the kind of person we all need around us. The book sounds really interesting. Read it and let us know what it says ;-)

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  4. You are quite the hottie :) I think it's the attitude... you're workin' it in the outfit, no doubt, yo. And doesn't it get a little chilly where you live right about now? See, the only thing odd about wearing that outfit to treatment would be if you lived here. In Texas. In June. or July. That would be odd. And you'd die of heat. Bad news.

    Where was I . . . oh yes. Very glad to read the update. Sending lots of e-hugs.

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  5. You look gorgeous!
    This was a great post. You are so right about those gut feelings. I think they come from years of experience and a body of knowledge that has developed over a period of time. It is such a gradual process that it becomes a part of the person and they draw on it automatically. That said ....I also believe that that little voice is God speaking/

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  6. Well told, Amy. It just may be that God especially loves you. I could certainly understand it.

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  7. Veronica, I quote that all the time!

    That is a good book, Blink. I recommend it. And it's exactly that that's going on in your meeting with the doctor. Vast experience feeding into a "hunch" moment. I also like How Doctors Think by Jerome Groopman. Nerds!

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  8. So glad she followed her gut!

    and how is it that you look so great? when you write of your braless, ugg wearing look I pictured how I would look - slovenly -= you instead look cool ! xx

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  9. I read Blink some years ago, and I think you've summarized it pretty well! Makes me want to look at it again.

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  10. A good update Amy and reminder that God is always at work....plus I must get the book Blink! Hugs

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  11. I guess If you don't want to cry on a regular basis, I should stay away! I tend to come back every now and again, and it never seems to fail that I read, and read and read...I cry and cry and cry. It's sad tears and then happy tears, and when it's all said and done, I say to myself that I can't wait until the next one. It's an addiction, like oreo's are. I love your posts Amy, and between the 3 siblings, I don't need any others. You are constantly in my prayers and I am soo happy to read all of your stories. It does a heart good to see your progression and I am so glad us folks here in Florida can stay up to date. We miss you guys and hope to see you again soon one day. <3

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  12. Hi, You dont know me but I read your blog. I think of you often and how you are doing. I noticed you had not posted in a while and wanted to make sure you were doing OK.

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    1. Hi Christy! Thanks for reading, and you're sweet to check on me. I'm doing fine, I just seem to have temporarily lost my blogging mojo. I'm planning to post in the next few days, and get back to writing more regularly. I've just been in a bit of a slump, which I'm discovering is fairly normal after finishing treatment and resuming "normal" life. But I'm good--thank you. :) More from me soon. Xo

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  13. Hi--I hope all is well with you and your fam!

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  14. God laid you on my heart this morning. Prayed for healing, endurance and good quality time with your kiddos.

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    1. This reply is a month late, but thank you!! xo

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  15. Kind of worried that you haven't posted in so long and that Becky's blog site has disappeared! Hope all is well! Sending happy thoughts your way

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    1. Hi Kari! I know...sorry, I've been so slack!! I'm really fine, just super de-mojo'ed when it comes to blogging. I plan to fire the ol' blog back up really soon, though. All is well though, on the health front. Thanks for thinking of me.

      As for Beck, her domain accidentally expired! Yikes! Go here to see her now: suburbanmatron.blogspot.com.

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  16. Your outift is cool.but now is spring,can not dress it up.I am really love your handbag. I find it long times. I find one hangbag on the internet .buying similar one with you in Women Bags

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