Monday, July 12, 2010

I think our fish is kind of stupid.

I am not trying to insult goldfish in general. Or stupid people/animals, for that matter. We all know that my own intellectual capacity is somewhat diminished. I am simply stating what I fear may be a fact: we done got ourselves a stupid goldfish.

The first few times we fed Goldie and Sunshine, it took them awhile to figure out that there was food up there on the surface of the water for them. But my sophomore Psychology of Learning class taught me not to fear! I knew within a few times of it, they would learn to associate the opening of the tank's lid with being fed, and would swim to the top.

So, Pavlov, what to do with Sunshine? Cause she ain't getting it. When we sprinkle their food on the water, Goldie (Nate's fish) immediately swims up and partakes. Sunshine is oblivious. Often, she'll go right up next to the food, and nip at a little air bubble on the surface instead. I guess air tastes way more awesome than, you know, FOOD.

Ava is quite distressed about this. Sunshine is her fish and she takes it quite personally that Sunshine isn't getting her share of vittles. Goldie, clearly the Alpha Fish of the tank, is cleaning up. Fish feeding times have become high drama in our household, with Ava and Nate standing with their noses pressed to the glass, begging Sunshine to eat. "It's right there! No, there! Not the bubbles--the food! Eat it!" "Goldie, you've had yours already! Go away!" Jason has developed some sort of complicated strategy to distract Goldie while he sprinkles more food for Sunshine. (Those of you who know Jason will not be surprised. He loves developing strategies! And if anyone can make a dumb-as-hair goldfish eat, he can.)

Ava turns from the tank, "Call the pet store, Mom!" Sure, Ava--I bet the 17 year old girl who sold us these $5 fish will have plenty of wisdom to dispense.

I know fish brains have to be pretty small. Nevertheless, I'm sad to say that I think Sunshine's is smaller. She's not swimming with a full set of fins. Not fishing with a baited hook. Not diving with a full tank. You get me?

I know you crave fish-related updates. And that, my friends, is what's going on.


  1. Is Sunshine sucking the scraps off the bottom perhaps? I hope. 'cause she does sound kinda dumb, the poor thing. Or she's just trying to watch her weight?

  2. You gotta watch the over-feeding, you know. Maybe Sunshine is just too dumb to live...from the shallow end of the gene pool...if you know what I mean.

  3. Two years ago, Jude got two goldfish, Goldie and Otto. Amazingly, Jude didn't name Goldie Goldie because every other goldfish on the planet is named Goldie, he named Goldie Goldie after his swim teacher, whose name is...Goldie. Anyway, in our tank it was the opposite. Otto immediately figured out when feeding time was, and would bang his little face against the tank until we coughed up some food flakes. Goldie, however, just never figured it out. She'd swim foolishly in circles. And after about two months...passed away. Very sad. Jude's swim teacher Goldie, thought it was hysterical. Otto, on the other hand, still lives a full and robust life.

  4. Oh Gretchen's story makes me sad. I hope that doesn't happen (for Ava's sake). Smarten up Sunshine!

  5. Yes, I'm worried that Sunshine might soon be going to a farm upstate where she can run. Swim! I meant swim.