Impulse of the Moment

I never promised that I'd be mature all the time, you see.

Jason was up and out early this morning, and as I was awake way too late last night, first watching An Affair To Remember (sigh) and then reading, it was with a fuzzy head that I got up with the kids this morning. No one tells Grace that it's the weekend, so she persists in waking at 6:30 whether it's a school day or not.

Then, I couldn't keep the fire going (I know, tragic) so I'm huddled here in my bathrobe, chilly and totally unmotivated to do much of anything. It's okay, that happens sometimes. A few minutes ago, scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen any updates from one of my FB friends in a long time.

She and I went to high school together, and were really good friends. We were in the same classes, we both wrote for the school paper, we both pretended to not want to go to prom. (ButI think she went? Can't remember. I didn't go--CAN YOU BELIEVE?? What is it with boysssss?) Anyway. After we graduated, I went away to school and she stayed local. We lost touch, as you do. But I always kinda got the vibe that she was annoyed that I didn't do a better job keeping up. This was when The Email was just getting started, you see, so it was a bit harder in days of yore. But what can one do. It was, like, a new chapter? I was off in college? Finding myself, meeting Jason, eating too much at late night establishments and philosophizing. As you do.

I friended her on FB a couple years ago, just to catch up. I realized this morning that I hadn't seen her updates lately, so I checked and Y'ALL WE AREN'T FB FRIENDS ANYMORE. Girl unfriended me, straight up.

Truth? I don't mind too much. Cause she plays that Farmville game CONSTANTLY, and her buying chicken feed or wheelbarrows and asking for plywood or whatever all the dang time was clogging up my newsfeed. (No offense if you play that game, but the rest of us find the constant updates super annoying. We've talked.)

I usually don't notice when I "lose" a FB friend, I don't really keep track of my number, so the only way I notice is if I think of them and then realize they're not on my list anymore.

Here is the mature response in that situation: do nothing. Right? Like, duh, I know that. Here is what I just did: requested her as a friend again. Why? I have no idea. I'm cold and sleepy? I've made breakfast for Grace 3 times already this morning and needed a diversion? Idle hands are the devil's something or other?

It's part of my personality to go to extreme lengths to not make others feel awkward. I don't want to put you in a position of feeling uncomfortable or embarassed. But as I sat here, looking at her profile and the little "Add as Friend" button, a chuckle escaped me. What'll she do, I wondered, when she knows that I know? And that I know she knows I know? You know?

Reader, I clicked it. The button, I mean. Mwahahahahaha! Daring, you say? Cheeky? Oh yes. It is on. On in the way that Donkey Kong is also on.

This is why FB gets folks in trouble. Seriously as someone who works with folks, I can't tell you how many times Facebook plays a very real role in people having "issues" with each other. (I mean, I can't tell you because I can't tell you, not cause it's happened more times than I can count. But still, it happens a lot.) The social distance afforded by interacting online facilitates us doing and saying things we wouldn't in person. And now, I'm forcing myself upon my used to be high school friend! Just to give her a hard time for unfriending me!! How petty is that!! I feel so dangerous right now! Who knows what happens next? I might post a controversial political opinion! I could tell someone I don't like their new haircut!

This stuff just got real, y'all.

But probably, I'll do none of this stuff. Cause I hate conflict and also, I mostly use FB to see everyone's pictures of kids and fancy meals they eat.

The world will keep turning. But if you ask me to help you buy a new axle for your hay wagon or whatever, someone's gonna get hurt.

Eggceptional Effort

Last Monday, I was out on our balcony enjoying the sunshine when I noticed a bit of broken eggshell on the ground by my foot. I picked it up to throw it away, wondering how it'd gotten there. I figured that Grace had perhaps dug it out of the trash and carried it outside. Something that is entirely within the realm of possibility. Especially because when you ask her to take anything to any place: the cup to the sink, the phone to Daddy, the cookie to Nate; she marches right over to the garbage can, lifts the lid, and chucks it in. You'd think I would learn to stop giving her errands.

I didn't think about it again till a couple hours later, when walking through one of the rooms that fronts our balcony, I noticed a huge splat-like smear on the sliding glass door. Aha! Someone threw an egg at our window. Weird. We'd been out pretty much the whole day Sunday, so I wasn't sure if it had happened on Saturday night or Sunday night.

Later that afternoon, I was telling Jason about it. "What kinda creeps me out, " I told him, "is that someone would've had to come all the way up onto our driveway in order to hit the window." You see, our house is on a steep hillside--the driveway is about 12 feet below our house and wraparound balcony, and the street is about 30 feet below that. I just couldn't picture someone tossing an egg from the road, given the distance and the angle, and hitting our window. But then again, I got a D in Physics, so what do I know? (For instance, I don't even know if that's Physics. Geometry? Poultry Sciences?)

I made the driveway comment, and Jason shook his head. "Babe," he said in the way he says it when he's going to school me. "Someone could easily chuck an egg from the street and hit our window. There's no way they were on our driveway." "Do you really think so?" I said, "Cause it just seems like such an awkward throw. I don't know..." "Oh yeah," he said, "Totally do-able."

Of course, you see where this is going, right? "Well," I said, "If it's so easy let's see you go out there and get 'er done. If you think you can." And then Jason answered in this robotic voice: "CANNOT RESIST CHALLENGE TO MASCULINITY. ATHLETIC PROWESS THREATENED. MUST THROW EGG. MUST CHUCK EGG. MUST GO NOW."

Okay, that last part didn't happen. But you know how dudes can get. Of course, I told him as he was gathering a couple eggs that this endeavor was crying out to be blogged. Full disclosure and all.
Here he is, in position. I took this from the driveway, looking down, so keep in mind he's gotta throw it farther up and over.

And the wind-up...crack! A lone egg flew threw the air, making up to the level of the driveway, but smashing on the tire of our car...not at all high enough to sail over the balcony railing. I laughed loudly. Like, it echoed. Who knew egging houses was so much fun? Being the competitive guy he is, there was no way Jason was stopping now. By this time, Ava and Nate noticed something going on. So they joined Jason for his next attempt. (This is the vantage point from the balcony. Do you love how technical I'm being? I should do a graph or something.)


Round 2...oh no! This one landed just to the right of where the first one hit. A big disappointment for Mr. Cavalier egg chucker down there. Maybe this egg tossing isn't so simple, hmmm? By this point, I am laughing so hard--I think it was some sort of catharsis for me--and Grace is crying in my arms cause why is Daddy throwing stuff at us? But Jase had to give it one more go.

And...better this time--he made it up and over the railing, but failed to hit high up on the window where the initial egg had hit. Instead, it hit the floor.

Awww. Wop wop, Jason. In the battle between you and Egg Physics and/or Geometry, looks like you lose. Ouch. That must hurt, confronting your own limitations like that.

Of course, he called out from the street, "I need to give it one more go!" Ava was dispatched to get a fourth egg. "Babe!" I called down, "We shouldn't--these are free range!" If I'd known we were gonna be egging our own house today, I would've bought the cheapie cage eggs.

So, as it stands...we're still not sure what happened on that fateful night some ruffian egged our house. Although our friend Andy pointed out, perhaps they did it from the street with a catapult or a slingshot? The world may never know.

But what you lose in egg inventory, you gain double in laughing at your husband. And that, my friends, is Physics.

Now that takes core strength

I went to Pilates tonight...I've been going for about 6 weeks. Anyway, I've been home for a couple hours now, and I can already tell I'm gonna be sore tomorrow. "Core" this and "pelvic floor" that. Sheesh. I think my core must be made of marshmallow creme. Or peanut butter. Cause, wow. That class is (air quotes) challenging for me. But I'm sure within a few more weeks I'll have a full-on six pack. So, not to worry.

But what I really came to say is that I have a new nephew! Now if you're friends with me or my sister on Facebook, you've heard about this, probably ad nauseam. Well, you're gonna hear it again, mister! My brother David and his wife Kate just had their first baby! (Well, Katie had the baby, but Dave was definitely involved.)

Sunday night, I got a text from my brother that they were going to the hospital. So I spent all day Monday on pins and needles, waiting to hear news. It was like, Hmmm...what's the fine line between being a concerned, involved sister and driving people up the wall with text messages, phone calls, and emails? Yeah. Not sure which side I fell on that one! Then finally, on Monday night Dad sent me a message: Baby Gabriel is here!

Now, really. I know that to many of you, that's just a photo of someone else's baby. But how adorable is he?? With his little baby forehead? And that tiny baby chin? And his baby eyes so wide open? Gabriel Wayne will fight you with his bare baby fists to win the title of Cutest-Nephew-Slash-Baby-Ever. You are so going down. After all, he shares his middle name with his freshly minted Dad and his paternal Grandfather. That's some serious bad-assery right there. So I think it's better if you just agree with me that Dave and Katie have produced one gorgeous little person.

Having had a few kids now, I just wanna do a fist pump in the air for every new mom. Childbirth is no easy experience to endure, to put it mildly. I'm so proud of Katie, who is one tough cookie. She used to compete in rodeos, doing barrel racing and other things I would pee myself just thinking about. She endured a really difficult day and came shining through, with a sweet baby boy on the other end. Yay for moms! Yay for babies! Yay for baby foreheads and cheeks! Congrats to Dave and Katie--love y'all!

And now, speaking of peeing oneself, my pelvic floor and I are heading to bed. But come back in a day or so...I need to tell you about Jason and I acting like morons. So hard to imagine.

Somebody should be writing this down. Oh, wait.

This afternoon we got in the car to go meet up with some friends at a local pub. As Jason pulled away from the house, Nate asked, "Dad, why do you always drive? Is that one of your talents?" Jason grinned and with a sideways glance at me, said, "Yeah, Nate, I think I'm pretty good at it." Then I nearly pulled a muscle rolling my eyes, but that's not the point of this story.

This got Nate talking about talents. He asked us what we thought he was good at. So we started telling him all sorts of good things about himself. (Ava was with the friends we were meeting at the pub, otherwise I'm sure she would've wanted in on this, too.) We told him how observant he is; how he notices things that most people don't, how he has a good heart, how he is very funny and makes us laugh. He didn't really understand what we meant by "observant", so Jason tried to explain to Nate that he often sees things differently than others, and notices what others don't. Nate wasn't so sure this was a talent--I think he was hoping we'd talk about light saber skills or how good he is on his scooter. You know, exciting stuff.

Later, as we all drove back home, the kids were telling us about who they played with at the pub. Hmmm, I should explain to my non-Aussie readers. Prior to moving here, my idea of a "pub" was that it was strictly a bar--for adults only. However, here, a lot of pubs are actually quite family-friendly. Families go there on weekend afternoons to eat and listen to live music. The one we go to a lot has a huge outdoor seating area, and on Sundays there's a petting zoo for kids and jumping castles, as well as a playground.

Anyway, the kids were telling us about some girl vs. boy drama that happened in the jumping castle. Nate said, "Some girl called me a scaredy-cat!" We asked him what he said in return, and he said he told her that no, she was the scaredy-cat. But he wasn't too pleased with that comeback. We were talking over other possible responses--we've been trying to teach the kids how to speak up for themselves. Not teaching them to be rude, but just trying to help them have the confidence to speak. Ava weighed in with her opinion--it wasn't nice to call the girl a scaredy-cat back--we gave some other possible replies.

Then, Nate said, "What I shoulda done is call her an animal name cause she called me an animal name. So, like if she called me a scaredy cat, then I could call her a deadly snake." Jason and I both cracked up laughing--at the sheer unexpectedness of it. A deadly snake?? Who does that? Nate protested when we laughed: it wasn't funny, he said, he was being serious.

Okay, Natey. And this, right here, is a perfect example of one of your talents. I would've never thought of that.

We Represented

Wheee! Go, America, go!

Oh, you know we celebrated our Independence. We celebrated the heck out of it, y'all. Our Fourth of July Party (on July 9th, but shhh) was a success! I think. We had fun, at least! But here's a note if you ever pastor a church and then host a party for 40 people on a Saturday night. You will not go to bed until the wee hours of Sunday morning, and then you will need to be awake again in the slightly less wee hours of Sunday morning. Ya know--cause church and stuff.

But we had a great time! As I said before, the group of friends we've gotten to know from the kids' school, as well as a few other friends we invited, is quite international, and I loved having such a mixed group of folks over. It was fun to serve up a little slice of Americana.

Once the party started I got busy and didn't actually get any pictures. I know! But here's a few I took beforehand...

Our hallway, all festooned. Yes, that's the Texas flag! A friend of ours works for a printing company and showed up the day of the party with loads of American flag signs and banners that he'd printed out for us. So sweet.

And...the obligatory flag cake! Cream cheese icing...yuummmm. I'd never made one before, would you believe. The one I was copying had blueberries in the upper corner, for the stars. But blueberries were like 10 bucks for a tiny little amount. So I had to improvise. My patriotism has its limits.

I printed out lots of little quotes and "fun facts" about America and posted them all over the house for people to read. The kids helped decorate them, too. Here's a few:


This one was a crowd favorite:




And I couldn't resist this one. Classic:


Oh, W. As we say in the South, bless his heart. Anyway, we had a great time! The kids ran riot all over the house, and Jason manned the BBQ and turned out some of the best burgers I've had in awhile! And in spite of a chilly winter's night, at least half of the adults sat outside all evening, around a nice fire. So we got to have our backyard barbecue after all!

The only downside was that the crowd pressured me into singing the national anthem when we cut the cake. By "pressured", I mean they suggested it and I was like, "Okay!" But it wasn't my best performance. There's a reason all those pop stars mess up The Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl--that is not an easy song! Someone did take photos of that moment, but I'm hoping they will remain locked away forever. I feel that my talents would've been best displayed in a lower key, but there's always next year!

Hahaha. Ha.

Party up in here

We're hosting a 4th of July party here at the house tomorrow evening. Yes, I know it's July 9th, but stop being so pedantic. In six years of living here, we've never really formally observed our Independence Day, and we thought it'd be fun to have a bunch of friends over for a BBQ. We've invited other families from the kids' school, as well as other friends, and it's quite an international group of folks. Aussies, Italians, Irish, South African, Kiwi, British--and yes, a couple Americans, too. I'm excited! Today Jason said, "So, how many people are actually coming tomorrow?" And I said, "Um, I'm not actually sure. I've just been inviting people and I've kind of lost track." I have a way of doing that.

On the menu? Cheeseburgers, baby. Real, meaty, juicy American cheeseburgers. There are many things to love about Australia, but finding a great burger is challenging for us here. (At least, what we'd consider a great burger.) Aussies like to put fried eggs and beetroot on their burgers. Now, normally I'm all about accepting the culture and adapting to cultural norms--but this is my dang party and I'm gonna have my dang cheeseburgers like I want 'em. Anybody got a problem with that?

Of course...it's winter here. So, our backyard BBQ will have a firepit and blankets, and most of us will probably end up indoors. But the plus side? No mosquitoes! And no food poisoning from picnic food gone bad! Everybody wins!

The only thing to dampen our party cheer? The thought that I'll possibly need to sell a major organ to afford our trip back to the States in mid-September. Jason's been looking into tickets, and when he told me what it'd cost to get us just to LA and back, I nearly wet myself. We're planning to stop off in Hawaii to celebrate Jason's dad's 70th with the fam, and my friends, wow. Never fear, though! I'm sure it will work out. Do you know, by the way, if you can list kidneys on Craigslist? I'm asking cause a friend wants to know.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll report back with a party play-by-play. A night with friends, yummy food, and for once, getting to indulge myself in my cheesy American-ness. Yay! As Grace likes to say, "Sweeeet."

There Ought to be a Law

We are finally emerging from a week of sickness. Ugh. Well, mostly me. The kids seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. But I have been mired in the Land of Sinus Headaches and Body Aches for over a week now. Much better today, though! So, there's that! In the midst of that, I hosted a women's retreat at our church on Saturday. While I was up front welcoming everyone, I got one of those throat tickles. You know, where you can't stop coughing? My eyes were watering, too. And then my nose started running, and I was sniffing but forgetting to hold the microphone away from my face when I sniffed. So it was, like, surround sound sniffing. And coughing. Not one of my better moments. I'm sure that I inspired many.

Ava and Nate are on school holidays right now--the break between Term 2 and 3. We celebrated yesterday by heading into the city for breakfast at Darling Harbour.

We wandered around for a bit, and Ava and Nate did a bungee trampoline thingy (more tame than it sounds, Mom!) and then we went on the merry-go-round.

Nate tried to tell me that he was too old to go on a merry-go-round, but then he changed his mind.

And then today I did a bad thing.

It was impulsive.

I've done it once before, with similar results.

I cut Grace's hair.

Okay, okay, but listen! Listen!! As you can see from the photos above, her bangs (fringe) have gotten way too long. And she violently protests any attempt to put clips, bows, or elastics in her hair. So it gets in her eyes all the time. Lately, with it being cold season, she's developed a signature move:wiping her nose with her sleeve and pushing her hair out of her eyes in the same movement. Her eye has been red lately, so I started to worry that she's getting hair snot in it. Or snot hair, I'm not sure which.

So, today, I plopped her in front of the TV, gave her a cookie, and went for it. She wouldn't let me brush it all forward and kept moving her head, so I couldn't get it even. She kept saying, "No, Mom! No!" It looks pretty bad. I started laughing when I was done, but then I felt bad. Luckily, she doesn't realize that this is not a good look:

Sooo crooked. So very, very crooked. And too short. And crooked. I texted the photo to my neighbour Jules, and she just laughed at me. Via text, which is even worse. I emailed it to my parents and Becky, and Becky said, "You need to stop that right now."

I know what you're thinking. Okay, Mr. Perfect McSmartypants!! You don't even need to tell me, I know it is a total rubbish job! I didn't research technique or method, and I basically doomed my child to a month or so of looking like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. (Yes, again.)

I won't be doing that again. I am hanging up my scissors for good.

But enough about me. Are you well? Did my American buds have a good Fourth of July? How's everyone else?